Weaknesses

Five years ago I got my prophecy. I'll never forget the first words. It's a phrase that's ricocheted in my soul before any of the spectators even knew my name. Before I understood what the words meant. Words I couldn't vocalize because I didn't want to breathe them into the atmosphere, causing my world to come crashing down around me.

"The Lord says that you don't fit in."

It's my thorn. The thing that won't be removed from my side. My life. Sometimes it feels like a stake. I'm not an outcast, just a puzzle piece in the wrong box. But my stake has also become a crutch. So I bounce from trying to be the social being that I know I am to sitting alone in my apartment all day with nothing but electricity, water and oxygen. The inability to find balance between the two is disheartening.

Honestly, sometimes I think I'm going crazy.

God's Word declares that His strength is made perfect in weakness. My weakness takes on many faces at once, never running out of ways to reveal itself. But I find comfort in knowing that the awkwardness I feel all melts in the presence of God. Often it's the only place where I feel normal. Like I do fit in. Like all of me is okay. Even the craziness.