Unbeweaveable

It's so interesting how much more "attractive" I am since I have this hair flowing down my back. I have received so many complements since I got this weave, that I've lost count. I'm personally not a huge fan of it. It's hard to maintain, it itches and it doesn't look like me. I was ready to take it out the day after I got it, but I don't feel like figuring out something to do with my own hair. Catch 22?

Inspired Introspection

The kid in me wants to fight and argue with my fiancee to prove I have a voice in our relationship instead of hearing his heart and embracing the strong black woman I already am, which isn't measured in tone, volume, or neck rolls. Instead of believing the fact that he already sees beauty, love and the God in me, I feel the need to remind him with mindless bickering of facts that prove to be fiction. And in this I take for granted the blessing God has placed right in my hands to comfort me, cultivate me and embrace me. The fact is, he's one of the only ones that sees the bareness of my soul and is in love with the whole package. Forever. He's already said yes. Now it's time for me to put on my shades, call shotgun and enjoy the ride.

Whoa there Cowboy!

As a disclaimer, I have to say that Floyd moving into the apartment early actually has been a good thing. I've learned a lot about our living styles in 1 1/2 weeks that I wouldn't have known before. Yes, he lives there alone, but I visit occasionally. It's interesting how much you learn by just sitting and watching behaviors. People give you straight up clues to how they feel, how they prefer to live and be treated accordingly. Our backgrounds are so different, and it's evident when there's only you two and a plethora of white blank walls. But I'm happy to be learning these lessons early. I have to be more gentle and less rough. Women don't realize the power they have to set the tone in the relationship. This is where the true love kicks in. And I know it's real because even when it's challenging I know there's no other place for me.

Satisfaction Guaranteed!

We did it!!

We got the keys and began to make our house (or apartment for lack of a better term) a home. I am so excited. I've been in a holding pattern for quite a while. God's been having me wait. It wasn't harvest time yet. But now I can put my wheels down and get ready to land. It's so nice to see the ground beneath me, ready to hold me once my wheels touch ground. All my hard work was worth it. I'm ready to eat some fruit!!

Bummed

I've had a couple bummy days this week. Just really tired of running around and never being able to enjoy the satisfaction of completion. I think I'm going to set up a couple runaway activities every other week to get away from it all. Working hard should allow you to play just as hard, but I haven't taken any play breaks lately. What do you do for fun??

Tonight She Cried

I was talking to one of my co-workers tonight about how worn down I've become from working all hours of the night, then turning around and having to work through the day, go to school, and plan this wedding. Honestly, I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself to perform. But this week I learned that I don't have to perform. I have to live and watch God work. And He's working on me and Floyd. Having the ability to work two jobs is a blessing, but it shouldn't become a burden. God said He would supply my needs according to His riches in glory, not the riches I try and kill myself to obtain. It's already done.

As I was sharing my life lesson she began to cry. She told me she had been praying for me to know that God was taking care of it and she was happy to hear that her prayers had been answered. I never asked her to pray for me. Never complained that I was overwhelmed. But I'm grateful. I've only been here two months and now I see that God did have a plan when He moved me here. It is such a blessing to know that people are praying for you when you don't have the strength or the right mind to pray for yourself.

Thank you Ms. Val.

I am Vegan, Hear Me Roar!

I started my vegan diet for my class yesterday. It's actually not bad. I think when you focus on the fact that you're losing something, you become overwhelmed. Eating as much fruit and vegetables as you want really isn't torture.

Here's a list of what you can eat on the plan:
1 cup of beans per day
Unlimited fruit (at least 4/day)
Unlimited cooked green vegetables (at least 1 lb per day)
1 oz of raw nuts per day
Tofu
Eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, onions, tomato and other non-starchy vegetables, cooked and raw (unlimited)

That's a lot of choices, my friend! It's all about planning and preparing. And watching the pounds melt away...

Here I Am

These last couple months are proving to me more challenging than expected. More than ever, I have to say this is all God's grace on my life. His hand has held back the true weight and pressure of it all. So many people have asked how I'm doing it, and I find myself stuttering to find an answer. In all honesty, it's truly God because I don't know how. I get freaked out when I look and see everything I'm juggling right now, but I'm learning what walking by faith and not by sight really looks like. I can't see the outcome right now, but I know it is well.

I choose to believe the report of the Lord!!

Here I am
I'm still standing
Here I am
After all I've been through
I've survived
Every toil, every snare
I'm alive
I'm alive