Remembering

How many times did we go to Great America when I was little? And let's not forget the family trek to Disneyland every year with whoever wanted to come. We always had someone living with us or coming over for Sunday dinner. The house was always full of love. She made sure I was in church every Sunday, even if she didn't go. She'd wake up, comb my hair, get me dressed and have me wait for a ride, all while listening to her Mahalia Jackson Record. I learned Bible verses in Sunday School, how to praise God in the children's choir and how to act in the church plays. And how long was I in the best private schools she could afford and eventually skipped 1st grade because she sat up with me every night from the age of three teaching me how to read? She taught me how to clean since I can remember, getting up every Saturday cleaning the house watching Soul Train, then taking the car for its washing then going to the mall for the weekly shopping trip. Yes, she created a princess at a young age. I was spotted rolling in my Barbie Corvette at age four with the top down. And what mom do you know steps in to coach her daughter's 5th grade volleyball team, when the team was at risk of being cancelled? She had no formal training besides the family BBQ games every year, but led the most despised team in the league to win the championship. We moved to Antioch that winter so I could stand by the windows without the fear of a stray bullet and play outside with more than a five foot radius from the front door. But that was the coldest winter we'd ever seen. And the defroster in our '89 Oldsmobile met it's match and died a quick painless death. We had to drive the 1 hour trip to SF every morning for school and work with the windows down so the air from outside could allow her to see through the windshield. That's when layering gained significance. High school brought about more friends and more people who respected and feared my mom. The teachers and office staff knew her by name, which provided more eyes on campus than I desired. When I graduated, I think the school missed my mom more than me from all the check ins and calls she made for me and my sphere of friends. Her hard work paid off and helped me achieve a scholarship for college. And although my road had a few detours, she stood in my corner and reminded me who I was and who I was created to be. Six years later, the degree arrived in the mail and was given right to her, because that's who it belongs to.

Today I choose to not forget the sacrifices made by my mother. She gave her life for me these past 25 years to make sure that I would not just be good, but I would be the best me I could be. I watched the struggle, seen the tears and admired the perseverance. She has been my biggest fan and worst critic. She's seen me through the ups and downs and loved me when I didn't know the true meaning of love. She was patient, she was kind, she did boast a bit, but tried to keep a very small record of my wrongs. She never gave up, never lost faith, was always hopeful and endured though every circumstance. Because of her I am a daughter, sister, friend, believer, tomorrow I'll become a wife and in a few years a mother. I am fully persuaded that God knew what He was doing when he appointed Phyllis Marie to the position of mother.

I am eternally grateful.

The Aisle Journey

I am really enjoying this time with family and friends as I begin closing this book in my life. This is what I wanted because in my heart, this is what it's all about. Yes, I still have a laundry list to complete in the next five days (and yes, laundry is one of those things), but I'm not stressing over anything. I want these last days to be ones where I laugh so hard I cry, where I learn something new about people I've known for years, and where I tell everyone that meant something to me along the way that I love them. As I mature, my goal is that my loved ones never have to question my love for them. They will know because they heard it flow directly from my lips and onto their hearts. My prayer is that they will enjoy this moment as much as Floyd and I are.

Crossing the Threshold

Starting tomorrow I will be inside the 30 day mark. I told myself that I would enjoy my last single days as much as possible. I want to close this book in my life with meaning and truth. That means tapping into the heart of God to hear His voice and direction. It includes appreciating where I've been, what I've done and what God's brought me through. I'll thank my mom and love on her, assuring her I'll still just be a phone call away. I'll prepare to leave the nest while finding branches and twigs suitable for me to start my own. I'll shed the girl and step into the woman: fine, strong, humble and annointed.