You're Not Alone

My girls (BMs) have been calling me a Warrior Bride for a couple reasons:

1. I fight for what I want for my wedding!
2. It was a name given to me a couple years back based on the song Emma by Jason Upton.

So I will post the song lyrics here for my girl Angelica.
Admittedly, these words have become a blessing in my life.
Hope they bless you too, 'cause you're not alone!! :)

I’ve got a band aide waiting and a kiss for free
You’re not alone you’re not alone
Don’t be afraid of your blind belief
Because the more you fl...y the more you’ll see
You’re not alone you’re not alone

Look beyond the window there
To the sky above to the open air
Look beyond what you can see
Close your eyes and just believe

The lion roars and the lamb lays down
They live together in a whole new town
They’re calling me and they’re calling you
From the cold hard facts that we’re on our own
To the age old truth that we’re not alone

Don’t be afraid little warrior bride
Your victory’s on the other side
You’re not alone you’re not alone

Heavy but Determined

I get all excited when a situation presents itself (sometimes this is a second or third time it has presented) and I can show that I've grown past it. My insides jump for joy because I've accomplished something yet again. But when the opposite happens, my insides go limp. What haven't I done to become a better person and why? What is really holding me back? Have I truly grown at all, or just found ways to cover up the real problem?

Today I choose to say no to the roller coaster of doubt and confusion. I will push past the pain and discomfort and FIGHT. In this moment I choose to love the place I'm in and trust my Father to take me through. No problem's too big for him. He's GOD!

You're My Friend 'till the End

Friend (n):
1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
2. a person who gives assistance; patron; supporter: friends of the Boston Symphony.
3. a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?

This weekend, I chose to be a friend. My mom had to remind me, "Niesha, everyone's not going to act the way you want them to." I've always had a criteria of what my friends should be. And yet, it seemed like no one met those standards. Being alone is easy for me because I'm an only child, but I know that the gifts God have given me are not for me.

I've felt rejection so much that it became my friend. I believed that people didn't accept me for who I am. I'm still not sure how much truth is in that statement, but I can say that I want to live in freedom no matter how they feel about me. Yes, I'm loud sometimes and I have a little touch of attitude, but I've never been someone unwilling to change if my flaws are presented to me.

Can I be your friend? I'll be good. I'll check on you when you're sick, be a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, go shopping with you, laugh at your not-so-funny jokes. Let's grow together, sis!

Just give me a chance. You won't be disappointed. You'll fall in love. And so will I.

You go girl! No really, GO!!

Friends,

Take my advice: Save your money and elope! Get a cute dress and run away. Don't look back. Don't think about all those family members that will be devastated. Because believe me, they will be happy they saved their money, too. Not to mention the fact they will move on.

BUT YOUR SANITY WILL NOT!

It's too many people to please, too many attitudes to deal with, too many suggestions, not enough help, arguments that could have been avoided, and tons of money going down the drain.

Then Floyd says, "You wouldn't have it any other way." And sadly I have to admit, he's right. I just have to make my dream a reality. Hope to see you on the other side!

Did she really??

I was at work yesterday and during my morning break I was prompted to use the ladies room. I was walking to my favorite stall (don't you have a favorite stall, too?) and didn't realize it was occupied until I almost ran into the door.

The woman on the other side decided that using the stall for other reasons than just the toliet was best. She continued (looks like I'd interrupted her) her full fledge convo on the phone about drama in her department. And she told the person she was in the bathroom, yet did not once offer to call the person back!! On and on about how crazy her co-workers and supervisors were and of course she was the savior of the department (it's a Kaiser thing...). I left the bathroom and she was STILL ON THE PHONE!! No flush or anything...

Stay Busy

An idle mind is the devil's playground. It's bittersweet to have so much going on at one time. The goal, however, is to make sure the work is productive and will push me to be more than I am today.

So far, soooo good.